Category Archives: Balance

FLOWING WITH THE GOOD GUYS

It was with great sadness that I read about the recent Norwegian terrorist attacks. A tragic ordeal for any country to have to experience, yet there was a point in the story where I found one Norwegian’s comment to be equally absurd as the attacks were cruel. A woman’s response to the killings was, “Why are they killing us? We’re the good guys!” Most of us think the same way; we are the good guys, the ones who know what’s best or what is right. Adolf Hitler was convinced that his Nazi movement was the best solution for the world’s problems. And through his eyes, it was. The same can be said for Osama Bin Laden or George W. Bush and it is with this lack of awareness upon which most of mankind operates.

Albeit slowly, an increasing number of the world’s population is adopting a different viewpoint (or philosophy, or truth) that there is no right and no wrong, there simply is. This is not to say that whatever happens in the world is acceptable. It is to understand that only the flow of nature exists and that everything happening is a part of that flow. It is the understanding that there are no shoulds or shouldn’ts, only choices. The difference is that should’s and shouldn’t’s are constructs of our mind, while clear choices (I will or I won’t) come from the heart.

I recently witnessed a parent become very frustrated, claiming that her toddler was supposed to listen to her, as if it were her child’s job. In reality, her child’s only job is to act naturally, which is to be aware in some moments and unaware in other moments. If the mother chooses to parent consciously, then it is in fact her job to find a way to be in relationship with her child, discovering ways to flow with both her child’s awareness and lack thereof.

Essentially, life is about relationships, or how we relate to each of our experiences. Have you ever experienced physical pain and thought “This shouldn’t be happening!”? When we don’t flow with nature, believing that something should or shouldn’t be happening, we create suffering for ourselves. A common reaction I’ve seen after reading of earthquakes is “Why would God make such a thing happen!?” Conversely I recall many comments made of the Japanese response to their recent earthquake/tsunami experience, as they largely exemplified acceptance around what happened, while then responding to what needed attention. When we flow with nature, working with what is, we create more ease for ourselves.

Consider that all the ‘unnatural’ deaths that have ever occurred are serving to build our global collective pain that is now bringing about our planet’s current shift in consciousness. Consider that every cubic ton of pollution we’ve created thus far is serving to awaken us to the point where we once again realize the true value of our planet. Many sacrifices have been made in order to create the opportunity that lies before us all. Consider that there is no right and no wrong—only countless opportunities to, through awareness, healthfully flow with what is. After all, we’re all the good guys, each of us sharing a common desire: to be happy, as each of us does our best to find our way.

How to be “good” at waiting…

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“Waiting is painful.

Forgetting is painful.

But not knowing which to do

is the worse kind of suffering.”

~ Paulo Coelho

Imagine never waiting for anything again. Ever.

For sure, life would never be the same, but not for the reason you think.

Realistically, to wait is to suffer. The suffering can come in many forms. It can come in the form of being or feeling irritated while waiting five whole seconds for a YouTube video to be buffered before it starts to play (Irritated—really? Its coming from outer space!). Or suffering may also show up as anguish while you wait for your doctor’s phone call regarding the results of your biopsy. Simply put, this suffering is your spirit’s warning system that you’re missing out on life in some way, because you’re not present. Your spirit (or soul or heart) wants you to enjoy life and is devoted to guide you there in the healthiest way possible–if you’re willing and able to listen to it.

My life changed in some way the day I learned that there are dialects in the world which contain no word for boredom. These would be languages (such as Hindi and Swahili) which emerged from a time when humans were much more interconnected with both their inner and outer environment. This is not to say that these old world cultures received everything they wanted through immediacy, yet were more in touch with their interconnectedness, particularly by way of their bodies being their guides. When one is connected in this way, one is aware, and when one is aware, one doesn’t wait. In a situation where we don’t immediately receive what we want, we can practice the art of being, or being present. And when we’re present, boredom doesn’t exist as there is no possibility of waiting.

Think of someone in your life whom you consider extremely patient. Your Mom? Your Dad? Your Grandfather? This would not be an example of a person who is ‘good at waiting’, but someone who easily finds acceptance around the things which take time to materialize. What other qualities does this person hold which can be related to their awareness? How about gratefulness, humility or wisdom? Interestingly the word patience has its origin in Latin, stemming from the verb pati or ‘suffering’. Meanwhile acceptance also has its origin in Latin; accipere or ‘to accept, or to take’.

The person who appears extremely patient is likely accepting what is happening, or taking that time, that opportunity to be in that very moment.   Consider the gift that comes with having to wait. For the student on a conscious path, waiting is the opportunity to check in and notice how the suffering is being self-created.

How can you become more aware and in the present?

Have you tried meditation? Take twenty minutes each day to just “be” on your own. Studies show that individuals who practice meditation can clear distracting thoughts (like impatience) from their minds more quickly than individuals who don’t meditate. That sort of ability comes in handy when you are sitting in the Frankfurt airport waiting for your connecting flight which has been delayed—again.

You can prepare for moments when you need to wait by spending just 20 minutes a day meditating. You don’t have to do anything actually. Just sit in a quiet place and focus on your breath going in your nose and out your mouth. Whenever a distracting thought pops up, don’t allow yourself to go there. Just note the thought, let it go, and focus back on your breath. With practice, your mind will quiet down, and your ability to dismiss unwanted thoughts will improve. Being aware and in the moment will come to you.

Yoga? If you are practicing yoga, bring it back to your practice. Invite your awareness inside the body and notice it’s attempt to generate more ease, relaxation and stability.   ‘Wait and see’ is a commonly used phrase in the English language–one that often creates suffering. Rather than suffering, empower yourself by turning this phrase into a choice; ‘wait or see’.

What works for you? Let us know.

Haven’t tried any of these yet? Why not give it a try?

Until next time,

Don

How Evergreen is Rehabilitating our Cities—Brick by Brick

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Evergreen Brickworks Toronto, originally uploaded by HeadsUp_Dad.

Happy Earth day Everyone!

In the spirit of tipping our hat to the place that gives us everything we need to sustain life, today’s post is going to relate to Environmental Stewardship of our planet. Specifically, the essential role we play as parents, cultivators and influencers of future generations.

We at Headsup Dad do not want to spend a lot of time protesting or complaining about things. We know what is looming. Lots of very bright and knowledgeable people are covering the story. We are more interested in learning from these people, learning from past mistakes (our own, and those that are made by others), seeking out the opportunities for positive outcomes and finding or creating the path towards the light at the end of the tunnel—and moving forward with purpose and conviction.

There is not much we can do to influence what has come before us, but we can influence what happens next.

With that in mind, its time we took a serious look what we have to deal with in terms of global warming and climate change, what we as parents can do to make the changes that are necessary to set the stage for improvement, and help empower our kids with the knowledge and tools to dig themselves out of the situation that has been created for them over the past 150 or 200 years. It begins at home, with our kids and in our own back yards. In our parks, and our forests and our fields. In our rivers, lakes and oceans. In the country, in our towns and in our cities. Everywhere we look there is opportunity for change.

HeadsUp Dad: Environmental Stewardship at Evergreen Brickworks in Toronto

Kidseye View from the Top at Evergreen Brickworks in Toronto

What we do today affects the cities we live in tomorrow.

Since 1991 Evergreen has been engaging Canadians in creating and sustaining dynamic outdoor spaces—in schools, communities and homes. By deepening the connection between people and nature, and empowering Canadians to take a hands-on approach to their urban environments, Evergreen is improving the health of our cities—now and for the future.

The Evergreen Brick Works is a unique environmental community centre and green cities centre for urban sustainability. Currently under construction in the heart of Toronto’s Don River Valley, this spectacular natural and industrial heritage site and its ongoing engaging programming from Farmers’ Markets to seminars and plantings, is already inspiring and educating the community to embrace a sustainable future.

When we celebrate its grand opening in September, 2010, the Brick Works will be a showcase for green building design, environmental stewardship and a model for sustainability.

The revitalized turn of the century Brickworks compound will feature an ecologically diverse area with lots of history, a fine example of urban renewal and naturalization, a bunch of really old buildings and one brand spanking new new structure—the Centre for Urban Sustainability—a five-storey LEED platinum (Leadership in Energy and Environmental design) office building.

Aspiring to the very highest standard within the LEED certification scale, this building will be an international destination for those interested in sustainable built environments. Evergreen, along with community partners, will be housed together in this hub of social and environmental innovation.

HeadsUp Dad visits the Brickworks in Toronto

Kids Adventure in the City at Evergreen Brickworks in Toronto

Evergreen’s mission is to bring communities and nature together for the benefit of both.

Evergreen envisions a sustainable society where individuals live in harmony with and contribute meaningfully to their local environment. Evergreen will be at the forefront of the movement to create this society, by empowering communities, by creating innovative resources and by transforming educational values.

No mind is too small to sow the seeds of change.

At HeadsUp Dad, we believe that the continued existence of the human race on this planet is going to depend on how well we educate and inspire our kids to become aware and in awe of the world that we live in. To know nature is to love it, love leads to respect, and to respect is to take ownership of and stewardship over the gifts that we have been given. Knowledge leads to action and that the more that people know about the effects of their actions, the more likely they are to think about what they do.

Wyatt's pal Milo having a blast at the Brickworks in Toronto

Evergreen is a not-for-profit organization that makes cities more livable. Corporate sponsorship, private donations and public support make its programs possible—Volunteers help drive its programs forward.

Volunteering at Evergreen offers you and your family a great opportunity to help the environment right in your own community. Come out and get your hands dirty, meet a few new friends and… make a difference. Evergreen has events planned in communities across Canada all summer long and they could use your help. Get outside, have fun, teach your kids about the wonderful world we live in and help a worthy cause.

Evergreen volunteers help out with a wide range of hands-on activities:

local plantings
community gardens
food gardens
invasive species pulls
greenspace stewardship
special projects and fundraising events
research
community or school presentations
outreach at local events
office and administrative work

What was once an industrial wasteland is now a vibrant ecosystem and nature park in the heart of the city

To learn more about stewardship and planting events and other volunteer opportunities in your area, visit the Evergreen Website.

Click here to see a list of some of their current volunteer opportunities. Take a look at their calendar. Please take your time and look for something you might enjoy doing with your kids on a sunny Sunday afternoon. See what fits into your life. Reach out, connect, let them know what you are interested in volunteering, or even better, apply to a role that suits you! You can complete and submit a Volunteer Application Form right on their website.

Together, we as parents can work together to create a culture of appreciation and respect of our natural environment. By getting engaged and supporting organizations like Evergreen, we all can look forward to a healthier, more sustainable future in which people and nature thrive together.

Do you have any photos of your kids outdoors, enjoying play and learning about the wonders of their natural environment?

Send them in to us here at HeadsUpDad, we’ll post them for all of us to share and enjoy—who knows, maybe it will lead to something fun for you and your family.

Go on, get out there!

Vitamins and Supplements for Optimal Health and Vitality

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photo courtesy of Peter Argue

Are you looking to optimize your Health and Vitality?

I’m sure you have heard it. There are those that believe that taking any extra nutritional supplement is a very quick way to flush down expensive urine, and that all that our bodies nutritional requirements can come from the food we eat.

But vitamins and minerals are essential to life, and if we are not getting at least the recommended daily allowance of these micronutrients, our immunity and vitality is definitely compromised. Busy lives, high stress, illnesses, medications, poor diet and lifestyle habits or ANY one of the above can wreak havoc on our body systems. Therefore, let’s be safe, and add a few key supplements to your good health arsenal. Alongside a proper diet, exercise and a positive attitude, here are my recommendations. And please know, that the following supplements are generally extremely safe, but with any new addition to your daily regimen, always check with your physician to make sure there aren’t any contraindications to your present health profile.

Consider adding these top supplements to your daily diet:

A good quality men’s multi vitamin and mineral

Taking a daily multi is a good way to help reduce your chances of developing heart disease, diabetes and even stroke. A multi can help slow down the aging process, increase energy and boost the immune system. When you look for the men’s multi that best suits your needs, consider your age and overall level of health, and look for one with little or no iron. Men are at an increased risk of heart disease if/when they take too much iron. Centrum Silver is a good bet because it’s totally free of iron. And please remember to take your daily mutli after a big meal. Without a lot of food, a multi vitamin can nauseate you.

Essential Fatty Acids (EFA’s):

Omega 3-6-9 are called essential fatty acids because our bodies do not produce them, so we have to supply them. A good blend of “good fats” is integral for health as they help restore energy, aid in healthy hormonal balance (keeping a healthy level of testosterone is vital for optimal health), maintain good cardiovascular health and have been shown to lower cholesterol and decrease blood pressure. And they also have an anti-inflammatory response in most of our body systems and especially aid in better joint health. Find a supplement that combines all 3 of the EFA’s so that you are assured a good combination of each. I like Udo’s Oil. This can be found in any good nutrition store.

Boron:

Take boron to protect your prostate. Most men do not get enough of this mineral. Not only does it fight cancer, it can improve memory and concentration too! With as little as 3mg a day, your prostate health can be protected. It’s a tough little mineral to find, but I know that GNC carries it. And if by chance you can’t find it, eat raisins and almonds and plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. These foods contain lots of boron.

Next week, I am going to change my emphasis from supplements for health to supplements for performance and muscular repair. I’ll offer tons of insight for increased muscle mass and lowered body fat.

Got questions or concerns about vitamins and supplements and your health??

Post your questions right here and I’ll do my best to get right back to you here in the Fitness Lab at HeadsUp Dad!

Shawna L. Marshall B.A.,BKin.,H.D

Welcome to the Fitness Lab at HeadsUpDad

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Hey guys!

Welcome to Headsup Dad, the latest and greatest online community of highly engaged and active dads! My name is Shawna Hamilton, and I run the FitnessLab here at Headsup Dad HQ.

Because our daily lives are typically very busy, it is easy to sympathize and to understand how getting in shape and staying fit may have slipped to the lower end of our priority list. In addition, our hectic pace begins racing even more with the introduction of kids and modern family life. I totally get it. But it is still no excuse for not making your personal fitness an important goal!

As you achieve improved health in both mind and body, you’ll notice how much better you are at addressing the myriad of challenges facing your life as a busy and active dad. Chances are, if you are reading this, you know this already and are wanting to learn how to do more. And how to do it more efficiently.

Rest assured, you’re in good hands my friends. It is my purpose to be here to help you.

Here within the pages of the FitnessLab, I will be offering you expert guidance, opinions, critique and advice about overall health and wellness, with a specific focus on physical fitness. In fact, I will aim to cover all aspects of health. Including workout tips and tricks, diet and nutrition inclusive of vitamins and minerals and other supplements geared towards men’s health. You can believe that if its related to health and fitness, you’ll find it here.

So please join me in the FitnessLab, lets have some fun, get in shape and look good and feel better. If a healthy, engaged and active fatherhood is what you’re after, it all starts here!

I look forward to addressing your qualms and queries and also to kicking your butt!

Sperm…

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Go Sperm Go!

If you were to ask your average human “what is the biggest contribution made by male animals to that of their offspring?”, ‘sperm’ would likely be a popular answer. The majority of humans would agree fundamentally that most male animals are uninvolved fathers; providing the kick-start to life itself and then not much more.

Not always true.

For example;

The male pigeon does the parenting, including the ability to produce milk.
The male bullfrog protects his tadpoles against enemies often many times his size.
The male wolf returns to its den to disgorge food in several little piles, making it easier for the cubs to eat without competition.
It is the male seahorse that becomes pregnant and only after a long courtship.
The male penguin provides the incubational care for the egg, balancing it safely between his feet for days on end.

Consider that although subtle, our largely skewed perspective of animal fatherhood carries over to human fathers and why fathers, particularly of this generation, are largely misdirected and misunderstood. This misunderstanding comes not only from much of the female population, but even more so from the male population. In other words, while a mother’s role is considered to be clearly mapped out through (all-encompassing) love and compassion, a father’s role is as foggy as the variety of opinions of each subject asked.

Now consider that parents generally have no true role, except that of influence. One could argue that if a person has made the decision to become a parent, they have made the choice to parent a child (or children) to an extent where varying degrees of sacrifice are required, thus having these sacrifices define much of their role. This is where influence must overtake any other definition of a parent’s role, in turn creating choices rather than sacrifices. Of course because life is forever changing moment by moment, the information on what one bases their choices is forever changing. The supreme responsibility of a father (and mother) is to be authentic in their actions and decisions and it is through this influence that a parent’s individual role is shaped, subtly passing down the most basic and meaningful lessons to the child.

Although often promoted, our modern society does not readily encourage or easily accept authenticity. Great courage is necessary to parent from a place of ferine fathering—trusting instincts, following intuition, practicing, learning, trying, failing, succeeding and being guided by our own child’s innate direction and wisdom.

Here is where the resource of Heads Up Dad can be of great benefit. The mandate of this website is to help encourage parents, particularly fathers, to be as open-hearted and authentic in their life as possible and to have fun while they’re at it. What better a role model could a child have? The contributors of this site have been carefully selected based on not only personal and professional experience, yet on their desire to be authentic and live a happy and full life.

You may already be a father, either by choice or happenstance. You may be planning on becoming a father or some capacity of a caregiver to a child. If you feel that this is your mission as well–to live happily and authentically, please consider yourself a contributor. Your input and involvement, and yes—your influence in HeadsUpDad will largely be what steers this ship.

We look forward to learning and parenting with you.