With Mother’s Day bearing down hard (this coming Sunday fellas) many of us busy Dads cringe at the thought of it. Not that we don’t love our moms and significant others, we all do, but the fear that grips us as we start to think about what to get is what makes us tremble.

Lets face it, even though we are very grateful for all of the gifts we have been given with and since the birth of our children, we sometimes are not very good at expressing how grateful we are. While some of you have it nailed, many of us struggle with this. How do we show how grateful we are? Well, there are many ways, and we do this all the time, but the truth is, on Mother’s day, unless you have a death wish you will never get away with a hug and a kiss and a box of chocolates from Shoppers Drug Mart.

It is easy to go for the obvious (Card, Flowers/Roses, Chocolate) then fun activities (yoga passes, Craft classes at the girly fun places like the Workroom, AGO memberships, Theatre Subscriptions for Buddies in Bad Times, a year of off the beaten path nights on the town, dinner for two at one of her favourite restaurants, a night at the movies) that you need to get out of the way, but we can never stop there. These are just the basics.

The part that strikes fear into our hearts and stops us cold is the fear about never finding that ever elusive perfect gift that sums it all up. The one that says, Thank You—No REALLY! I could not have done it without you! Even if we are not getting along, or we are divorced, separated, or just not agreeing right now, it is the right thing to do to demonstrate to your kids how to respect and value the sacrifice and contribution that their mom has made to get us here and continues to make every day.

How do we do that? What to get?

We do things every day that support our wives and let them know how much we appreciate them, (they might not agree with us, but we know we try) but this is different. Mother’s Day is their Day. It is the one day of the year that they actually can claim for their own. They deserve it. We should make it nice. They like presents. We know they expect them. That being said, we have this fear that we always get our wives, partners and girlfriends the wrong things. Mostly because we almost always do. Not that we do not try. I see six previous mother’s day “gifts” still hanging on a hook (expensive purse) or the hangars (clothes/sweaters/dresses/coats) not used or worn yet. Am I really that bad at choosing good gifts for someone? Am I not really paying attention? Do we need help? Maybe.

With each new year, the fear gets even more compelling…

I am sure that I am not alone. In this, I bet that all of us Dads feel the same way.

With Mother’s day looming, I could not let this date on the calendar slide without writing something about Mother’s day, because without Mothers there would be no HeadsUp Dad—I love my Mom and I love the Mother of my children, honestly I do, but there’s something about Mother’s day that strikes fear into my heart every year.

I am not going to write a post about the fear that grips our hearts every year at this time—No, I do not want this to be a negative thing—I do not want to comiserate with all of the other guys who may or may not share my fear in this regard—I do not want to lament my own shortcomings or our collective misgivings—what I do want to do is provide my community of Highly Engaged and Active Dads some honest to goodness solutions with just enough notice that they can actually use this advice to get them out of hot water before they even get in it this year, not next.

Mother’s Day is this Sunday. Many of us have already taken care of this. Many of us are still thinking about it and some, poor boys, will not be able to do anything until they wake up this Saturday. Good luck to you! That gives us a couple of days to think about it. Get going. There are all kinds of amazing tools out there these days that can make this easier than ever before. Don’t wait. If you have not taken care of this by now, find a way to get out of the office early today and take care of business. You will be glad you did.

I hope to post some more ideas here over the next day or so, please come and check back in for more great gift ideas and suggestions. Need some more inspiration? Start here.

Good Luck Everyone!